Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
