GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
