I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
