Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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