Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
