Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
