all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
