Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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