Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize