This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
