So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize