I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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