How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
