guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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