How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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