Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize