1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i came on her dog
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
