i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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