just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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