Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize