k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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