until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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