the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
