Where is the hickey?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
