Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
