Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
