i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
look no pants
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If I die, sorry about rent.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
