ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
