Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
