whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
