Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
