Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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