Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
