she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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