And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize