you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
