We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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