I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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