Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
