My first STD was from a foam party
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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