shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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