brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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