Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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