dude i'm inner monologue high
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
