the new term for farting is butt boxing.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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