SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
3 2 1 whiskey
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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