Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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