I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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