Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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