he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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