If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My ATM looks so different sober.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
