I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
