I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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