I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize