I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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