You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
