My brain says no but my pants say off.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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