well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
did you just send me my own nude
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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