Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I had to cum in my sink.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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