What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
