So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
