Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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